Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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