THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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