My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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