I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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