so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
