i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
