woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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