Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
