If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize