I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its not stalking. its research.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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