You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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