just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
