Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Who put my cat in the fridge?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
