If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How external is "for external use only"?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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