if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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