He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He had one of those small greek statue penises
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
