he puts the penis in happiness.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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