You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
