Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
