How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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