fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
