In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
