38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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