Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
