it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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