you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
