Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
