i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
