You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
