There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
