Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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