I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
