i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
