do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
