the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
