I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
