Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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