I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
