yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
