Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
