I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
