Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
