this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
