??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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