Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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