There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
