Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
BRING THE BAGELS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
