If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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