Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
