Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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