He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
