Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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