Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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