There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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