Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
