i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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