Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
