were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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