just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Your penis caused this!
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