How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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