I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
foreskin is a definite game changer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
